I debated about posting this. I was hesitant to share this with y’all. I’m not the best at celebrating my accomplishments. Heck, I somehow managed to convince myself that this moment was actually nothing to celebrate. But did you pass your NCLEX though? But have you started an IV yet? Say ‘rhabdomyolysis’ three times fast! The voices in my head are relentless. I’ll be the first to admit that I struggle with a terrible case of impostor syndrome. No matter what qualifications I receive and merits I achieve there’s always a feeling of wait, y’all really trust me? who signed off on this? surely they’ve made a grave error. These feelings frequently prevent me from being comfortable with my accomplishments, not to talk of sharing or celebrating them.
But I realized that I have no real reason to feel uncomfortable. I have every right to celebrate. In fact, I have GOT to celebrate this moment because it is not about me. It’s not about whether or not I feel deserving of praise or recognition. It’s not about trying to be humble and not come across boastful.
This is about giving glory and honor to God for doing such a great thing in my life; For considering me and qualifying me to be used to do His work on this earth; For seeing me through my struggles with self-doubt, fear, and uncertainty. I still don’t understand why He called me of all people to this great profession. I don’t understand how despite my quirky, clumsy, forgetful ways, He sees me fit to lay hands of healing on His most beloved creations. But what I do know is that I am beyond humbled and grateful to be on this journey to becoming Deborah Osho, RN.